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Nothing new...

Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Charlie's really having trouble. We're going to talk to his vet in the morning. We'll probably be taking him in within the next two days. It's so difficult. He'll be hurting so much and be really uncomfortable and I'll think, "Yah, it's the right thing to do." Then he'll get all happy because he sees his Twizzlers or he is begging for some meat from our dinner or he wags his tail because Rod comes in the room and I think, "Why would I even consider 'putting him to sleep' when he's so happy?" Nick just stopped by so he could see Charlie. Charlie went running across the room, dragging his leg because he's so happy to see Nick. I asked Nick, "How can we consider killing him when he's so happy and looks so cute?" And Nick says, "Well, he have to look at his leg and then we know." Nick says that the skin is so tight on Charlie's thigh, leg and groin area that he's afraid if it gets much tighter, there might be a problem where Charlie's skin won't get enough blood flow and potentially the skin could die.

Now, look out, there is a pity party about to start.......

I'm really tired of having people and pets die. We lost Rod's mom two years ago. Then we had to put our other dog, Oscar down a little over a year ago. Then Rod's dad died last year. Then my friend Jacque and now Charlie. I hope I haven't insulted anyone by including Oscar and Charlie in this group. AND, I hope I haven't sounded to whiney. It's just tough. But, I guess it's just life. I keep reminding myself that God promised us he would be with us during tough times. He didn't promise us a smooth-sailing life, but he did promise his love and support. It does help to know that and to feel that.

Thanks for reading.
Annette

4 comments to Nothing new...:

Sue "T" said...

Honey,
I don't know what to say to you right at this moment except I know what you are going through and it SUX!!!!
When we had to put Chelsee down in July, I brushed her and cut her nails and made her all pretty to take her to the doctor, not knowing we were going to put her down that morning. Bob said that deep inside, I knew and thats why I prettied her all up. The night before, she was not able to eat dog food, so I had made her a hamburger and rice and even gave her steak sauce. She stood there in her diaper eating, because she was unable to sit down because of the pain in her hips and the lumps.
So, when we took her the next morning, she was all bubbly and playing with her Dino, the purple dinosaur, but then she fell down and she just looked at me and I could not let her go through this anymore.
I thought that we would see the vet and they would make another appointment, but Bob told me that I would just keep putting it off and I had to quit thinking about how I am feeling and think about the pain that Chelsee was in.
When the doctor looked at her, he also found aggressive cluster tumors in her mouth.
I started to cry and I knew then that I had to not think about how I was feeling, but to look into my precious little Chelsee's eyes and do what was best for her. Do what was right for her.
Nobody can tell you and Rod what to do, but Annette, I love you and I know how difficult this is. Look into Charlie's eyes and you will know honey. He depends on you and Rod to do the right thing because God put him in your care. He can't tell you he is hurting or he has had enough. But, you never want him to get to a point that he has to be lifted and is in so much more pain and can't tell you.
Remember, when he does go to heaven, he will be at the Rainbow Bridge waiting for you all someday and until then, he will be completely pain and illness free and will have made lots of friends.
I hope I did not overstep honey and I am so terribly sorry that you are in this pain not knowing what to do.
Love and hugs,
Sue

Annette Markin said...

Sue, it's like you are right here, holding my hand and giving me strength. You are such a special person and a phriend that I greatly appreciate.
much love
annette

paula54 said...

I almost called you but there's a huge luimp in my throat and I know I wouldn't be able to say a word. This is an incredibly hard time for your family. My Dad died three months after Bo. I had been grieving for my Dad for years since he was so ill with Parkinson's then dementia on top of that. With Bo it was so sudden and honestly that was tougher to go thru than with my dad. Emotions can really throw us for a loop. Please take care and know you're in my prayers!

Lynne said...

Annette,
I can totally relate to how you are feeling regarding all this pain and loss. Even though I can cognitively deal with it, it is a different story emotionally. I wrote my note to Mark and the boys this morning and started getting weepy again. Then at lunch I dribbled soup on my top and said, "I need a shout wipe," and remembered that Jacquie was the person who introduded me to Shout Wipes at lunch at South one day.
Hang in there.
Lynne